Consistency ≠ credibility: A hill I will die on.
Like most late-identified neurodivergent folk, I didn’t start out knowing the language of Fluctuating capacity.
Before the realisation that our brain worked on a different operating system; we had other explanations.
“I need to try harder.”
“I just need to be more consistent.”
“If I was actually good at this, I wouldn’t struggle like this.”
So when we finally notice and start to accept that some days we can, and some days we can’t, it feels like confirmation that something is wrong. That its fluctuating capacity is at the heart of the problem.
But fluctuating capacity isn’t the problem.
What actually drains you is what sits underneath that moment your capacity shifts — the internalised ableism.
The shame.
The self-blame.
The constant questioning of your legitimacy.
We tell ourselves that if capacity could just be more stable, more predictable, everything would be easier. But fluctuating capacity isn’t the reason it costs us so much in energy lost.
The real cost comes from the internal narrative you’ve been taught, to tell yourself when it happens.
And that’s not because you’re harsh or broken or doing it wrong.
It’s because you were trained this way.
We’ve been raised in systems that teach us:
Consistency equals credibility
Contradiction means something isn’t real
Experts should always know, always perform, always deliver the same way
That messaging comes from everywhere — education systems, productivity culture, capitalism, and yes, the medical model.
The medical model tells us something is only “real” if it shows up the same way every time. The social model reinforces that success belongs to those who can sustain output.
So when you step into business — as an expert, a service provider, a leader — a brutal question forms underneath it all:
How can I be trusted if I sometimes can… and sometimes can’t?
That tension is where the real problem lives.
Because shame is an energy leak.
The hours spent spiralling.
The self-blame.
The push to override your nervous system just to prove you’re still legitimate.
That costs far more energy than fluctuating capacity ever will.
I want to be really clear about this.
This isn’t about blaming yourself for being stuck in shame.
Shame thrives precisely because it’s invisible and inherited.
But when we name it when we actually look it in the eyes and say, nah, fuck you bro, you don’t get to shackle me anymore; something shifts.
When you understand your brain, and where these rules came from, you stop trying to resolve the contradiction.
You stop asking yourself to choose between being an expert or being human.
And realise you can be both.
You can be someone whose capacity fluctuates AND someone who is exceptional at what they do. Those things do not cancel each other out.
And when shame loosens its grip, our capacity shifts too, not because it stops fluctuating, but because you’re no longer burning energy fighting yourself.
I covered all this in the workshop Beyond the Good Days - honouring fluctuating capacity while still moving the needle in your Business.
You can check it out here: https://www.skool.com/neurodivergent/ which you can catch the replay and bonuses as part of the Premium membership.
Not how to be more consistent (because yuck, no thank-you neuro-normativity) but how to free yourself from the energy drain of trying to be consistent, and spend that energy where it actually matters.
Big Love,
Giarne